Posted by Mark K. Bass, Esq. in Deciding to Divorce

How to introduce Collaborative Divorce to your spouse.

Posted by Mark Bass,

You have come to terms with the fact that you will be divorcing. You have done your research and you believe that Collaborative Divorce will allow you and your spouse to come to an equitable resolution, while taking into consideration your concerns about the children and how the divorce might affect them. You believe that Collaborative Divorce will allow both you and your spouse to move on with your lives and at the same time provide you and your soon to be x-spouse with the tools to raise your children together and enable both of you to attend life cycle events (children’s birthdays, school events, extracurricular activities, graduations, weddings, grandchildren and the like).

The questions you now face are:

• How do I introduce my spouse to Collaborative Divorce?
• What do I do if my spouse is reluctant to consider Collaborative Divorce as an option?
• What do I do if I want to get a Collaborative Divorce and I have not even told my spouse that I want a divorce?

These and many other questions can be explored by meeting with a Collaborative Professional. A Collaborative Professional can help you look at different ways to introduce your spouse to Collaborative Divorce.  Options may include:

• Providing your spouse with written material or on line resources about the   Collaborative Divorce Process.
• You and your spouse together or individually may want to meet a Collaborative Professional to learn about the options on how to divorce (Collaboration, Mediation or Litigation).
• You may want to consider working with a third party to introduce your spouse to Collaborative Divorce, for example your spouse or you and your spouse may want to meet with a clergy member, family counselor, or therapist who could present the alternative of Collaborative Divorce to your spouse. These individuals may be knowledgeable about the Collaborative Divorce Process or these individuals can be referred to web sites, given printed material or they can talk to a collaborative professional to learn about the Collaborative Divorce Process to allow them to effectively introduce your spouse to the process.

These are some possible ways to introduce your spouse to the Collaborative Divorce Process. If you are considering Collaborative Divorce, meet with a trained collaborative professional and explore with them ideas and options for introducing your spouse to Collaborative Divorce.

This blog entry is based upon an article by Mark Bass “Creative Strategies for Enrolling the Reluctant Spouse in the Collaborative Process” IACP Collaborative Review, Spring 2007, Volume 9, Issue 1.

For additional information visit www.bassabramslaw.com
For a consultation contact Bass & Abrams, P.C. at (914)271-9529.